My obsessive side

It’s a new week and March is almost over. In less than 48 hours I managed to get obsessed with my sleep pattern and heartrate. The Band is singing like a little hummingbird that gets fed sweet things. It’s buzzing and buzzing and buzzing. Emails, texts, phone calls… And it’s buzzing every mile I run or bike to remind me to go faster. And I don’t care that it’s there anymore. After the first annoying hours of getting stuck and feeling itchy I got used to it and ditched my regular watch. Yes, I know I am a bit stuck in the 70s, I am probably the only one under 70 still wearing a regular watch.

The Band on my wrist is pestering me, in good way I guess.  Yesterday after work I decided to take a nap. Not because I felt extremely tired, just to check how it would look on my phone if I fell asleep during the day. My own sleep really fascinates me. What do I wear in bed? Why, Band, of course. I go to bed tired but end up wired most of the time. Last three nights I actually know how sleep looks. It’s a lot of purple light sleep, a few staples dark purple restful sleep and lots of pink stripes when I wake up. Purple and pink, purple and pink… Now I just need to figure out what to do with this information and how to read it. And even more interesting is the heart that goes in to a hibernate kind of state, a nice rhythm of 43 beats per minute. And activities like driving, 68-72 beats. That must mean that I am extremely calm when driving, right.

And steps, usually not a problem for me. I am always 10 000/day and up depending on what I do. Apparently I had a very slow and tranquil day yesterday. Realized when cooking dinner that I only had 6000 steps and had to take a fast walk while the stew was boiling and the cake was getting ready in the oven. Why?? Just because I wanted that display to turn to 10000. Running up and down the stairs at home 3 times is about 100 steps, just to inform you.

The only disappointing thing so far is the calorie burn. If you are like me, never ever paid attention to calories it will not make you do cartwheels and handstands of pure joy. I know I have the function burned calories on my Garmin but I usually turn that off. It’s not going to make me run faster or longer if I have the calories on display. Only time I have checked and gloated is after a long race when it’s numbers like 3500-4000 cal. I checked this morning when I ran intervals. Oh my. Kind of sad. I burned around 350 calories. And then I went home and had a large cup of coffee with a splash of milk and two slices of rye bread with cheese to make up for it. I actually burned more calories when epilating my legs yesterday. So I might skip intervals next week and work on getting smooth legs instead.

Finally Friday

Sneaking in 15 minutes of rest/nap/sofa time after what feels like an eternity. It’s been a long week and it’s not over yet. The world is boiling around us. One direction are now only 4, the Antarctic ice is melting faster than ever, grapes makes you fat, the Ukraine/Russia problem – big issue… And Tomas Tranströmer the Swedish poet passed away. The one Tranströmer quote I have back in my mind is ”Mitt i livet händer det att döden kommer och tar mått på människan. Det besöket glöms och livet fortsätter. Men kostymen sys i det tysta.” I don’t even know how to translate but something like this… It the midst of life that death comes and takes measures on the man. The visit happens and is forgotten and life goes on. But the suit is sewn in silence.”

My Microsoft Band finally showed up by the door today. The one thing you can’t live without. I am the one that keeps forgetting my Garmin on runs, I forget to turn it on, to charge it, I broke the heartrate strap years ago but couldn’t care less. After tracking my heartrate when I had arrhythmia a few years back I kind of got tired of the whole thing. It’s not fun to monitored all the time. Now I am sitting here with this nifty little thing around my left wrist and can’t stop looking at it. 68, 62, 64, 62… deep breaths…65, 79, 81?? what the heck… 61, 58, 56… Oh my, I am soooo zen. So many possibilities, so much to learn. I’ll get back to you in a few weeks, after a few runs, bike rides… and let you know how it works. I think it will be fantastic. The only thing that worries me a bit is that I’ll have to stop wearing dark blue and that is about 50% of my clothes. Dark blue looks awful with black, never ever wear blue and black, and the Band is black. And I would like some bling on it.

Time to get the house in shape after 5 long days of backpack curling, shoemountain building and horizontal eating in front of the TV before our dinner guests arrive. No, not horizontal eating by me but the house is full of teenagers and let me just say that we buy those big boxes of popcorn at Costco. I know, sad, who does? My problem, shoes and books, I spread shoes and books everywhere. I simultaneously use two Kindles but can’t stop buying books. The feeling, the smell. And who doesn’t love colorful runningshoes.

Nu kalkar vi upp oss och kör in i det sista

Jag träffade coachen, gurun, kompisen idag och vi snickelesnackade lite om våren och om jag följde planen inför den stora tävlingen. Allvar, stängd dörr och på varsin sida av skrivbordet. Jag hade lite svårt att svara. Ja, jag följer planen men tog ju en rejäl paus när jag hade lunginflammation. Det var många dagar när jag bara vadade runt i min egen svett, slem och självömkan. Ja, precis så illa var det. Och jag skruvade på mig och kände mig lite obekväm. Och hur känns kroppen frågade han. Jo tack, den känns. Foten är ful igen och gör ont, annars toppen. Träningsvärk överallt. Ungefär. Gårdagens 3,5 timmes cykling tog ut sin rätt idag. Jag gjorde ett försök till löpning imorse men beslutade att det räckte med 8km. Och jag förökte klämma lite på att jag är till åren kommen… Och så pratade vi på. Planen är fortfarande att rejsa. Jamenar, det är ju bara en dag av mitt liv. Det är bara att bita ihop och böja ner huvudet och hoppas på det bästa. Och så gick vi igenom matplanen för rejset. Var 20 minut ska jag klämma i mig mat, det är planen. Det blir mättande.

Det har gått överstyr. Jag har aldrig sett mig själv som en tävlingsmänniska. Jag gillar när det blir fart under galoscherna och det hettar till men jag bryr mig faktiskt inte så jättemycket. Nu bryr jag mig. Nu i mars har CrossFit gymmet en tävling för att alla ska socialisera sig lite och lära känna varann. Alla som var intresserade (32 personer) ingick i dragningen av lag, två och två. Jag blev ihopparad med en exceptionellt trevlig kvinna. Man får poäng om man är närvarande, lyfter och får ett person bästa, om man tar med en gäst, incheck på facebook (därav mina otroligt meningslösa incheckningar) etc. Min partner och jag är en bra kombination. Vi är med för att vinna. Och vi har så här långt gått vidare varje vecka och vi har högst poäng av alla så här långt. Lördag är sista dagen och vi vill ju såklart skrapa hem hela vinstlotten. Priset är antagligen en t-shirt men äran gott folk, det är äran som räknas. Nu är vi bra trötta. Vi har varit närvarande mer eller mindre alla dagar gymmet är öppet. Tack och lov så är det stängt på söndagar. Vi knatar, lyfter, snatchar, jerkar, gör östeuropeiska styrkeövningar, hasar oss runt på golvet, svänger oss i ringar och står på huvudet. Oerhört graciöst. Och jag börjar ta formen av en styrkelyfterska. Jag har börjat göra ljud när jag lyfter, blir knallröd i ansktet, kalkar händerna, high fivar med boysen… Jag behöver återta min vanliga form. Det känns som vi är värda en lång vila. Hur det än blir, om vi når hela vägen fram till prispallen eller inte, så kommer vi fira stort. Hejja oss. Idag var det en chipper på schemat. 800 meter löpning, 80 butterfly situps med 14lbs medicinboll, 600 meter löpning, 60 russian twist fötter upp, 400 meter löpning, 40 wall balls 14lbs, 200 meter löpning och 20 burpees, bröstet mot marken. På tid. Hepp. Det var kul. Idag skulle jag ta det lite lugnt men så for tävlingsandan i mig. Luften tog slut och jag nästan kroknade på slutet. Men, när man gör den sista burpeesen så känns det ändå som… pust. Och så en minut senare så skulle man kunna börja om. Pigg som en lärka, ärtig som en liten talgoxe, stark som en björn…ja ni fattar. Jag är rätt hyfsad på korta grejer, men när det hettar till så kan jag härda på. Och om man kan härda på så kan väl inte en Ironman vara så eländig. Det är i alla fall den inställningen jag har idag.

Thinking

What is going on in your head? Do you always have a clear mind and do you have a way of processing your thoughts? I do a lot of thinking when I run or hike, I solve problems and feel like I accomplish something. It should be the same thing with biking don’t you think? Apparently my mind doesn’t work that way. I didn’t look forward to my long bike ride this morning. One of the kids got up before I could call this morning a morning, it felt like it was still in the middle of the night when I heard the shower at 5.15. And there she was, beside my bed reminding me that it’s Tuesday mom, AP study group. Of course I remember… give me 10 minutes… And I heard the rain and wind even before I opened my eyes. I checked the weather on my phone and tried to negotiate with myself to switch days but I am a tough boss. Today was the day. Got lunch ready for the kids, ate breakfast, took one kid to study group, had more coffee, took one more kid to school. Tried to sneak in a smile to kid 3 before she drove off. She woke up a bit cranky. And who drove her car in to the garage and plugged it in last night, now she will be even more late. It will probably take 30 more seconds. Ouch.

I am back home. Maybe I should do some laundry? Clean up? Work? It’s raining. I feel miserable. And I better get dressed.

And I am on my way. It’s cold, the rain is splashing up my face, I look like a dork with a headband under my helmet. I forgot to bring sunglasses. And my back break doesn’t work. Convenient. I will not try to change breaks again. Have to remember to fix that. And why did I cut my hair off, I can’t braid it so it’s all around my face. So much traffic. And after 25 minutes I am on the trail, away from all traffic and now it’s time to relax. But no. One tree, two trees… Birds, more birds… Woodinville… aahhh move away from the trail birdies… boooring, booooring…hands are cold… It must be time for a snackbreak, or maybe not yet? An eagle is circulating over my head. Is he going to eat me? Passing people…who walks in pouring rain? Latte moms, walking all over the trail. Aahhh lucky runners… you should smile, you don’t know how lucky you are not biking… And I am in Bothell. This is my turnaround spot. I get off the bike and beside me strolls a handsome rooster. Well, hello. We chat a bit and off I go.

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Finally snackbreak and I eat something that looks like a Kexchoklad but is seriously hard core s**t and taste cra*. Last time I ate this kind of bar was after 20 hours in a long race this past summer. I remembered it tasted divine that time. Not today. I keep on biking and I am pretty sure I will end up in Oregon soon.

The rain stops and I am home. 3,5 hours. I haven’t had time to think one good thought. I get a dog like behavior when I bike. I see things moving and I feel the urge to follow. It doesn’t matter if it’s a bird, a plastic bag or an interesting cement truck. And I look forward to tomorrow, it’s a long run day. And I will get a chance to think again.

Happiness–love, grace and attitude

I ran 12,5 miles today. I kind of see it as a new beginning after pneumonia and low motivation. Two weeks with no running (or barely walking) is a long time for me. Two weeks without clearing my mind, rinsing my body and processing thoughts. I dropped off Sofia for morning practice and went to the gym early this morning. It was dark outside and surprisingly cold and wet so I decided to stay inside. I did 5 boring treadmill miles, listening to a pod and watching news at the same time. So good, boring like crazy but it really empties your mind. And after an hour of crossfit when the sun was up and the sky looked blue I took off for a slow 7ish miler by the lake. I got some music in my ears to fade out the traffic and I had time to think. Slow tunes and slow pace, deep breathing and lots of thinking. And I started making lists in my head. Sofiasnacks for Spokane, emails to send, books to read and thoughts of happiness. I feel very happy when I run. I feel fortunate, lucky and kind of ridiculous for thinking that way. Every time my foot hits the ground I get reminded of last year’s escapades. I still tape my foot and have another lump that makes it somewhat painful, at least the first mile or two, before my mind wanders off. But it’s good to be reminded every once in a while that you are lucky, lucky to be out in the sun, lucky to be free to do whatever you want to. I sat on the dock for a while, watched birds dive, boats pass and a few lucky people glide by in kayaks. Beautiful weather and blue sky, quiet and an empty beach. The only thing I could think of today was that I can’t remember my grandfathers shoes. Really odd, I know, but it really makes me sad. I remember his regular shoes he wore with a suit or working and his boots he wore working outside. But I can’t remember his shoes he had on those happy mornings we spent outside counting tiny, newborn calves, drinking coffee leaning against a sunny wall. Walking in the woods, holding his hand and listening to a story I had heard many times before. Very happy moments.

I’ve been thinking about the word happiness and why and how some people are jumping around on clouds with a constant grin on their face. That’s not all true but I have been thinking of sources of happiness and how you come to that stage in your life when you feel content. And happy. I’ve realized that it has to do with a few different factors and to get the feeling “good enough” and at the same time “this is it”. The new sad trend of perfect health and looks/crazy performance/pursuit of happiness is a totally different thing that I am thinking even more of, but that is another story.

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and attitude. – Denis Witley

Living with grace, I love that expression. Grace is a great word. (I would translate grace to ynnest in Swedish, that’s even a better word.) And attitude, magic, love it.

So I am going to try to summarize happiness, wrap it up in a few smart sentences. So this is what I think about what makes us happy. (The only thing that makes me unhappy at this moment is writing in English. But sometimes you have to do things that makes you uncomfortable.)

Relationships Love and/or friendship, that you have people in your life that you care about and that care about you. Allow yourself to be close to people and open up. And situations when you interact with people, a social presence. Connections with people that make you laugh, challenge your mind, tease you a bit, make you feel relaxed, shoot you a smile when you least expect it, a helping hand, a hug. Open a door for you, send you a text, a surprise call, a cup of coffee in the sun and a nice conversation. Share a meal with interesting people. The small things that reminds you of the important things. It’s all those small things that comes together and come alive. Some people in our life really touches you and sometimes it’s impossible to know why. Consider yourself lucky when you meet and interact with people you like.

All the small things. I know work means everything to a lot of people but you need more. Work-life balance has been around for a while and it feels a bit worn out. But it is important that you do things outside work and take that time. All the small details. See friends, spend time outside, read, cook, eat, try new things, travel, go to concerts, be present. That means that you are part of something bigger. Your life touches other peoples life’s. What more can you ask for.

Grateful. Be grateful for what you got. Look around. You are fortunate. Positive thinking.

Money. It would make life so much easier if you didn’t have to worry about money. But when you have all you need and a bit more think of what’s important. I would definitely choose to spend my money on having friends over for a nice dinner instead of a new pair of shoes. Or experience something with people I care about. Think of what’s important and makes a difference.

Goals. For me this is so important, I feel empty without a goal. It gives me a meaning to push forward but I appreciate that we all are different and have different goals. Challenge yourself, try your limits, live a little uncomfortable. It’s not always the easiest way to the destination that makes us happy. Sometimes it is the difficult way, the rocky journey that gives us the most even if it doesn’t feel like it at the moment.

Exercise and movement. You are probably tired of hearing this from me but it’s so important. When you run or move your body you set “happy hormones” free, endorphins. That means that you feel better, more happy and that makes us all healthier. If you are healthy your body likes you and you probably appreciate your body more. Confidence, health, good mood, blood pressure… And try to get enough sleep and eat well.

Spend time alone. Read, listen to music, nap, think, hit 100 golf balls, run, walk. Be comfortable to spent time by yourself. You can’t expect people to be there to make you happy, you need to be content enough to make yourself happy.

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Parenting

Parenting little kids takes qualities that you don’t even know you have until the day they arrives. You learn how to function on little sleep and find 100 comfortable ways of sitting/laying on the floor. You don’t even notice if your clothes are clean after a while and you forget to eat or you eat anything you find in the pantry. You get superpowers and learn how to read a book without even looking at the same time as you are feeding one and changing one. You get used to sharing bed with creatures that moves and talks all the time. And kicks you in the head. You can sleep through an earthquake, upside down or on the floor. And x 3.

Love changes. Your heart fills up in a different way. Tears changes. You cry in a different way. The outside world disappears but shows up every once in a while.

But that was almost 18 years ago. Start stretching people, it’s time to get flexible. Parenting teenagers takes flexibility, endurance, strength and patience. And a lot of deep breathing. And even less sleep than with smaller kids. They never go to bed. And when they sleep you have other things to do because it’s usually daytime. You can’t really figure out how they think but you still have to go with it and play cool. I have to admit that I am a bit loosey goosey with the kids. They are a bunch and they are good kids. I don’t scream, I don’t get angry very often, I don’t punish, I don’t force them to do things they don’t want to do (sometimes I force them to hug me but that’s different and I do force them to go with me to Maximilian’s for Moule Mariniere when I don’t want to go by myself). I never tell them to do their homework, simply asking if they have any will usually be enough to get them started. And they have to tell me to turn the music down in the car.

I didn’t plan how to raise my kids, it’s just something you do. It’s your personality that shows in your kids. Think about that one. You transfer your own behavior. How you talk, how you behave, how you sleep, read, talk, eat, drink, workout… They do what you do before they figure out what they want to do and why. The reason I am writing about this is because I read something on FB, about raising children abroad. I followed a thread written by Swedish teachers abroad, there are a bunch of us out here in different corners of the world. Sometimes I wonder if there are any left in Sweden.

I wear myself down every once in a while, I feel extremely guilty for digging up the kids with their roots and dragging them into a new environment, a new language and a new country. And I feel guilty for not living closer to my loved ones. So, I read about being a parent and how you change your way of raising your kids in a new environment. It made me a bit sad when someone said that they treated their children very different in their new home country. That they changed and adapted to the way in this case Americans treat and raise their kids. (Nothing wrong with Americans, my point is that we are different in how we raise kids.) How is that possible? You are who you are. Do you change your personality when you move? Parenting is not an act, it’s not a job, it’s not something to read up on and put into practice… it’s who you are. If you have to think and stop every time you make a decision or interact with your kids then you need to rethink and start over. I am not the same person here as I am when I go to Sweden, I know that. My language change and therefor I know I talk more and more spontaneous. I used to feel at home from day 1 when visiting but it is changing every time and it takes a few days to get used to everything that changed. I am also a visitor now even if it is my country, so I am on vacation and not living there. But my personality doesn’t change. And the way I talk to and act around my kids doesn’t change. I appreciate that you have to adapt into your new environment. I know our kids would have more freedom in Europe, or more a different kind of freedom. And really try to make up for that by pushing them out, explore on their own, make their own decisions. But on the other hand they get other qualities here that they wouldn’t get on the other side of the world. But it doesn’t make my way of treating them different. Or am I wrong? I believe when we pass those first years of “practical” parenting it’s a guts thing. It just happens.

Life is different here but you still have to hold on to what you believe in and think is right. A lot of things in school here surprises me and makes me angry, sad, upset… you name it. As a parent and as a teacher. And I am totally open with the kids and tell them my point of view and why I think it should be different. The constant control stresses kids and I don’t think it will make them perform better. I don’t like the “hovering” mentality, I think kids needs to figure out things by themselves. Not enough recess time, lunch sucks, not enough interaction in the classroom, no geography, not enough world history, constant testing and way too much homework and busywork and lots more. You are supposed to show and have them figure out how and what and not talk for them. I don’t believe in the way some things are done, but that’s life, it’s not always the way you want it. The way we are and what we believe sits deep in us.

Believe in yourself, don’t change your believes too much just because people around you are different than you. Lots of confidence, a sense of humor and comfort in your own skin, transfer that to your kiddos. And as always, keep an open mind. When you know better, do better.

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Sunday

Sunday morning. Wake up 6.30 and have time to stay in bed for 30 extra minutes. Lucky me. Maybe I should run? Yoga? Who am I kidding? The only time I do yoga is when I have broken body parts. I should, I know. I decide that I will spend 30 minutes visualizing my day. I have no fizzy water beside my bed. And… gone… I didn’t even get to visualize breakfast, I fell asleep in 30 seconds, very unusual. It’s pouring and the bridge is closed. Had breakfast, one extra cappuccino and it’s time to go. Lovely day at school. The weather is bad. I know I usually have a great view from the classroom but today it’s multiple shades of grey. Seattle weather.

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Got into running mood after work. I walked by the treadmill in the garage a few times. Back again. Checked it out. Started breathing really deep to try out my poor lungs. And got a kind of now or never feeling. Må det bära eller brista liksom. New shoes, three pairs. Really eager to try the bubblegum colored Adidas with a foamy sole. I gave myself 12 minutes for each pair and if I could still breath, one mile outside in the pouring rain. Those first 36 minutes felt like 5. Jeeezz I love this. Still breathing problems but I just love running some days. Even on a really worn out treadmill in the garage facing a wall. 12 minutes x 3. Why 12 minutes? 10 felt short, 15 too long. Nike Free canary yellow, same as always, good not great, but a good shoe. Adidas Boost bubblegum pink, oh la la, heaven. Flyknit pink, same as always but a bit stiff. My toe with oldladyarthritis hurt. Got the bubblegum shoes on again and went outside. It’s pouring. Up and down on the street a few times. Stopped for a selfie (Yes, true. I had the feeling I needed to get those Adidas on a photo for proof. Adidas?!?) Lungs really burning but feel over all pretty good. Around the block once and it’s cold. What happened to spring? But feels great. I am done with being sick. And it’s a great pair of shoes.

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I’ve had 10 days off running/biking/swimming for the first time in years. I am still thinking and considering not going to Idaho for the IronMan in June. I am indecisive, a sad word. I am waiting for… to feel it. In my head. I haven’t decided if I am giving up or letting go. Or maybe going through with it. It scares me. I am not ok with giving up. Then things are not resolved. Giving up is not good. Letting go can be a relief and peace. I’ve had so many people asking me why I am considering doing this race and the sad thing is that I don’t know. I don’t know. It’s a good goal. I know I will love it. I know. But I don’t know. I need a push. Feel free to give me a pep talk when we meet next time. Please do, I need it. And don’t mention that I am getting old, can get hurt or am training too much. I’ve heard enough of that and it’s not true.

Late afternoon. Off to Costco with 90% of the population on East side. I am getting a few things, the rest are there to fill up their houses, RVs and their boats. A new sofa, dog bed, canoe and please, buy some plants while you are at it. And don’t forget a new monster TV. And they all brought their five kids and the neighbors newborn twins. And a dog in a bag. I feel pretty done with kids for the day. Rushing out, it’s pouring down and the parking lot is a rule free zone. I thought you should look back when backing, silly me. Bad day for a Costco run. Got our stuff and rushed home to get the roast in the oven. Dinner with friends. And for dessert, booked a trip to Cali for some sun therapy.

And some quiet time. Feet up. Music on. Let’s start a new week.

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Nya rejsersnabba puppor

Gjorde skuttiga hopp och korta sprintar med en partner imorse. Ganska långsamma sprintar eftersom lungpajjet inte riktigt har lagt sig. Några dagar till med antibiotika och sen tror jag nog att jag kan skubba snabbt igen. Bara flåset ger sig. Det var i alla fall repklättringar på menyn efter hoppen och sprintarna. Nu är det ju så att 42 åringen har överraskat sig själv och lärt sig skava fortare än blixten upp till taket och ner till golvet. Många meter högt. Svindelvarning och skak. Men huj vad bra det går.

Någon timme senare upptäcktes trasiga delar av sula i köket hemma. Jag klättrade så intensivt att halva skon gick sönder. Va! Slarvigt och dumt att ha springpuppor på och inte något stadigare. Närmare bestämt favoritskorna, Nike Free 5 rosa/svarta med leopardmönster. Efter 3 minuters sörjande bestämde jag mig för att kompensera med nya skor. Nya av samma modell men kanariegula och ett par nya rosa Flyknits. Något förvånande kom jag även hem med ett par Adidas Boost. Är 70 talet påväg tillbaka? Jag cirkulerade runt WCT overallerna ett tag men bestämde mig för att spara något till nästa tur. 

Nu blommar det på riktigt

Nu är det vår på riktigt men det är nästan så man inte vågar säga det högt för då kanske det blir snöstorm. Det är en stor sol på väderleksrapporten och en stor sol på himlen. Varmt och skönt och fräknarna börjar glimpta på nästippen. Det ska bli regn, moln och annat elände resten av veckan så det gäller att passa på. Jag vilar mig iform efter den stora lungdöden. Nu kör jag på allvar friska luften approachen, Schweiz känsla. Stor filt, trädgårdsstol med lut, djupa andetag och varmt kaffe. Och så några chokladbitar. Ganska många chokladbitar. Kurortskänsla på den leriga gräsmattan. Jag måste ändå säga att det kan bara vara en liten släng av lunginflammation trots röntgenplåtarna, jag känner mig bra mycket piggare än jag förtjänar. Pollenhalterna är läskigt höga och näsblodet står som spön i backen här och var. Träden blommar så mycket att det nästan är förbi. Körsbärsbladen flyger i luften som små snöflingor och kaniner hoppar runt på gräsmattan och rådjuren smyger runt i buskarna. Jag lovar, det är så attans idylliskt här. Vissa dagar slår det till och då tittar man sig lite förskräckt omkring och undrar om dolda kameran är närvarande. Men det är bara så bra ibland, kamera eller inte. Själv tog jag några foton på benen som stack fram ur filten men det såg ju inte klokt ut.

En nyhet värd att ventilera är att jag verkar vara för evigt avkapad frå SvD. Inte ett litet klick vill de bjuda på. Jag sitter och stirrar på förstasidan och blir allmänt uppjagad och peppad och så när jag klickar så tar det stopp. Jag har så att säga utnyttjat gästfriheten aningen för mycket. Det känns dystert. Vad ska jag nu tro på? CNN? BBC? Expressen? Aftonbladet? Snacka om att bli uppdragen med rötterna. Jag får helt enkelt hålla tillgodo med Seattle Times papperskopia som slängs mot ytterdörren varje morgon 4.30. Det är tamejsjutton service. Den levereras nästan ända in i hallen. Problemet med ST är att det är svårt att hitta några vettiga nyheter som faktiskt betyder någon för någon i övriga världen. Ja visst är det trevligt att läsa Ask Amy och läsa igenom listan vem som fyller år eller som blivit sjuk i kändisvärlden. Men hur matnyttigt är det?

New week

It’s been a heck of a week and I am pretty happy it’s over. I’ve logged lots and lots of miles on my car. Time to start a new fresh one. I ended the week with the big lung death, a visit at Urgent Care. I started shaking late Thursday night after I got back from the gym, got a really high fever, took a bath and decided to sleep it off. It didn’t go that well. I got the garbage out Friday morning at 6am. Our neighbors must love me. 200 yards that felt like 2 miles, one garbage can at the time. It felt like I dragged 500lbs so I kind of guessed that something was wrong. J was up all night trying to catch up on school and left really early before breakfast. I took C and S to school and went straight to the doctor. And as always when you sit there… maybe I am fine…? I might just need some sleep? I mentioned a pressure over my chest and ohhh my, legs moved faaast. Tried to explain that my shoulder was still hurting after the dislocation and it’s been impossible to lift weights. X-ray and meds. A very surprising sinus infection and a double sided pneumonia. But good thing it’s not my shoulder as I thought. And apparently I have enormous lungs, what a great compliment. How is it even possible to get so sick in such a short time? And why does it always happen when I am home alone with the kids? Well, it’s all better now after two days of lots of pills. And the show must go on. I even went to work today. The poor kids had to deal with the teacher from the not so sunny side.

It’s March Mayhem at the CrossFit gym. I got paired up with an excellent woman that I don’t really know and we are now competing together for a month. Let me just say, we seem to be a great match. We want to win! And we did amazing the first week. If you feel like trying out our place please let me know. I would love bring you as a guest. Eah, I need the points. It’s an outstanding place, friendly people, great coaches. Give me a call. And you get to spend an hour with moi.

Yesterday marked 6 months since our friend Ross passed away. Ross’ amazingly strong mom met up at Vertical World for a nice gathering and a balloon send off before it got dark. A beautiful way to keep in touch and stay connected to Ross. Missed by so many. Every day. Lots of hugs and tears again.

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Little S had a full day tournament today and it went really well. She came back home and crashed. We are trying to shake her up a bit and get some dinner in her tummy. And I have great expectations, dinner seems really fine. Chicken souvlaki on the barbie, a nice salad with feta and olives, red rice, tzatziki (and some roasted potatoes just in case, I am not 100% sure about the red rice.) And broccoli, I have a kid that feels like she needs broccoli every day. Weird, yes, but that’s the way it is. And some fresh pineapple.

So let’s start a new week. Let’s try hard without trying too hard. Let’s shift perspective and mentality and do some good work. When you know better do better. And kick some ass.

Happy Monday