Something magical happened the past weekend. The trees changed colors, the rain started to fall and we are all carrying around our puffy coats and cardigans again. Pacific Northwest weather. From one day to another. It’s the time when nature changes, the Swedes are getting ready for hunting moose, the time of year when the slugs mate and the apples are ripe. I have a few, short days before school starts and we are getting the last things done before we meet the kids again. I’m forcing myself to heal fast, I feel pretty much done with rest, painkillers and stiches.
High school started yesterday and we had the first volleyball match of the season the same evening. One kid in the car every morning, two off to other adventures. Sofia survived her first day and is now off to her second day of school. The second day of breakfast in the dark at 6.30am, tougher than the first day since you realize that this is the way it’s going to be until the end of June.
Today is September 7th. It’s a big day, an important day, a day that will always mean so much to us. It’s two years since we lost our friend Ross. He made such an impact on so many lives and he is so missed. Every day. Not a day goes by when we are not reminded of Ross and his great smile and enormous heart. Over the past two years we learned that grief is a never ending process. The emptiness changes and you can remember the good times with a smile and feel sad at the same time. Loosing someone makes your heart ache but somehow you find new places in your heart to keep the good memories. It’s in a way the art of hearing your own heartbeat, beat for the person you lost. As a parent it was the first time I felt powerless or incapable. When your child loses someone close and very important you feel that you lack ability to help. A fear of not being enough, not being able to guide, to say the right things. That too is a process, kids growing up and gaining independence and finding their own way in the world, their own strength within. Their own heartbeat.
~ the mountains are calling and I must go ~