How many times how you heard the question, so you’re a runner? I usually hesitate and answer kind of. I don’t really know why I don’t just say yes. A runner is a fast and serious person, very fast and very serious about every step. Right? When can you call yourself a runner? After the first step you take, after your first 5k run, after your first race… How many marathons does it take? Do you even have to run a race? Does it have to do with capacity or discipline?
The past weeks I’ve been bumping into blogs and articles about when is it ok to call yourself a runner. Some people say that you have to be fast and actually accomplish something, other says that as long as you get outside the door you can call yourself a runner. Do you have to run 5k in 20 minutes? Run a marathon in less time than it takes to walk to the neighborhood pizza place? Or is it ok to run slow? Does it have to do with how much you sweat or how tired you get? Can you call yourself a runner if you only run on treadmills and never outside? Is speed a factor? Or your looks? Do you have to look like a runner? And how does a runner look? I am not sure! I guess they come in all shapes.
A runner is a person who runs. And like it. Not always but most of the miles.
A runner runs, in all kinds of weather. You don’t stay in watching tv just because the weather looks bad. You don’t quit and go home because it’s raining. It doesn’t matter if you run 4 miles or 40 miles per week, you run. It doesn’t matter how fast or slow you run (but if it is too slow it’s actually a walk). If you work, get your heart rate up and and wear a pair of running shoes then you’re a runner.
We all have different reasons why we run. Some run because their doctor said it’s good for the cholesterol, some people run to look awesome naked, to be able to eat more, some run to clear their thoughts, to be alone, to be good role model for their kids, to feel good, to get faster, to loose weight. We all have our reasons. I wish I could say that I had a really good reason why I feel like it is so necessary to lace my shoes and head out. I wish I could say that I really feel like I want to run superfast and get skinny, to be an awesome mom. I don’t have a good reason. I just like running and it makes me feel so darn good.
Get a pair of shoes and head out… and stay away from the treadmill!
A new week. Monday night started with a home game and one of my players stayed home sick. The other player got home after 9.30, ate dinner and started homework. Rumors tells me she went to bed 1.15. And from the look she gave me when I woke her up at 6.30 it could been later than 1.15. Great start of the week. Our weekend passed quick. A nice dinner with friends, lots of sleep, golf for some and work Sunday. The slowest weekend in a long time. I am still walking around feeling “post race trauma”, have an emptiness growing and feel like I have no clue what’s going to happen. The “back” fracture kind of made it worse since I can’t run for a while. And it gives me a strange feeling, maybe I will forget how to run? What if my legs won’t work when I try to run in a couple of weeks? Dealing with injuries is not my strongest side. I get angry and feel depressed, I need my daily running/sweating fix. I know, ridiculous. I was so looking forward to a fall of biking and it feels like someone stole something from me. And I don’t have anybody to blame but myself.
Got a good 1,5 hours of swimming and strength in today and it feels like I am getting back on track. But swimming, still not convinced. It’s just…wet and troublesome. I had my favorite right lane all by myself today until I collided head to head against a not very nice woman. She just got into the water and started swimming in my lane without making any kind of sign to me that she was there. I don’t swim with my head up, I look down at the bottom of the pool when I swim and occasionally my mind disappears away. After our collision we made it very clear that I will be swimming on the left side of the lane and she would swim on the right. I took off and bang. One more collision. She insisted on swimming right over the midline, the wide blue line. Really! I had about 400 yards left so I kept swimming on my side but started some serious sighting and managed to stay away from her for the rest of the time. What’s up with some people? And I was there first!
How do you sit down when you’re not supposed to sit? Beats me. I am sitting. I kind of forget that I am not supposed to sit. I broke my tailbone Friday. I thought I was ready to conquer the scary trail, got my skis on and went to Sammamish River Trail (Marymoor felt kind of flat and boring the third time.) I was ready for the trail but not ready to share it with others. A nice but unleashed dog was happy to see me and I took a step to the side and hit the gravel. Roller skis don’t go well with gravel so I slowed down, in less than a second and fell on my coccyx. That is a cooler name for tailbone. The bone I broke into little pieces. After scooting around over the weekend I went to my doctor yesterday. I needed to hear that those things happen and it’s ok to run with a little pain around your buttocks. Today running feels impossible so I went to the pool and used my arms. Not my favorite thing to do. And apparently little bits and pieces can move around so I need to stop moving and not sit down.
This honestly sucks. I have had my fair share of injuries the past years and felt pretty done with broken bones and torn ligaments for the moment. This ridiculous piece of bone is totally useless. And so am I. No running or biking but lucky me, I can squat a little. And I have been going on and on about endurance and overcoming psychological challenges. Back to square one. The biggest challenge will be to heal a tiny useless, tail like bone. I usually think “clear your mind and the rest will follow”. My mind is so done with this and it’s on its way to a mountain top but my butt seem to be stuck at physical therapy. A different kind of endurance…
All my plans ended around September 1st and life got a bit empty after the race, THE RACE, and I flew back home and life continued. And I turned 41 yesterday. That is a big number. 41, I am middle-aged. Done with tiny kids, have a stable life, a car that I like and many credit cards. And I don’t have dinner at McDonalds or Taco Bell. And I have lots of laundry that needs to be folded, all the time. And I don’t care if it is Saturday or Tuesday when I drink wine since I go to bed around 11 anyway. When my kids talk about old people they usually say she’s 40 something. That’s me! I am now something.
Well, this old lady needs to make plans for this coming year. And I’ve been thinking of my training and racing year and as always I got some advice and help from the guru. What would I do without him? We met and talked. We agreed that now is the time to do fun stuff, rest and try new things. What I heard was mountain biking in the woods, go on long trail runs, fun fun fun fun fun. Take long thinking breaks, watch the view and bring a thermos with coffee, a nasty sandwich and a huge chocolate bar in my backpack. Maybe restart hot yoga and pick up squash again (it’s only been 19 years since I quit after moving from Belgium). Run for fun, I like that. And I saw myself rolling around Sammamish River Trail petting dogs, talking to seniors and having lunch at Red Hook half way into my roller skiing days. That’s what I heard during that hour we met. Sounds nice, right?
I got an email the day after we met. Shoot. Having fun is still ok, I heard right but I still need to do the minimum. My usual strength Monday and Wednesdays, two bike rides per week, at least 20 something miles of running and swimming at least twice per week. And then the fun stuff…
And when should I do yoga, and how about coffee breaks and enjoying the view at the top of Mt Si? And I was going to start with something new. I have heard that biathlon or diving is fun. High jump is supposed to be entertaining for tall people. And how about squash? And curling? And run for fun?
Well, I guess it’s good to get back to normal training hours since it is so difficult to know when to take a shower otherwise. If you don’t exercise, when do you shower? It feels a bit pointless if you’re not sweaty after running or training.
Skolstart och regnrusk, blöta skor och fruset in till benmärgen. Idag var det höstens första skoldag för alla barn på Svenska Skolan i Seattle. Finfina barn som förväntansfulla kom till parken i Redmond för att träffa sina nya klasskompisar och fröknar. Eller var det kanske fröknarna som var mest förväntansfulla och pirriga? Det brukar vara solsken och varmt när vi intar årets första korv med bröd och går tipspromenad. I år dundrade himlen lite, gjorde lite oväsen precis när vi började. Regnet småskvätte lite men de värsta skurarna verkar ha stannat runt omkring parken. Vi klarade oss från att bli genomdränkta och satte oss i bilarna hyfsat torra. Några nya gluggar där det suttit framtänder fick jag se och nog hade nästan alla vuxit minst en decimeter över sommarlovet. Välkomna tillbaka till ett nytt år!
Det har varit en tuff vecka för skolbarnen här hemma. Inte mindre än tre bortamatcher under förra veckan och vi åkte så långt som till Whidbey Island för ett av mötena. Långa kvällar och tuffa möten. Middag har intagits framåt 10 tiden på kvällarna och läxorna har gjorts efter det. Det är ett hårt liv för highschool barnen som har många ömmande kroppsdelar efter veckan. Nya tag och ny vecka! Go Kangs!
Ett nytt år med nya äventyr har jag framför mig. Tack alla för meddelanden och hurrarop på min födelsedag igår. 365 dagar till nästa är ju en hel evighet. Kan bara meddela att jag känner mig äldre än någonsin. I fredags rullade jag runt på mina rullskidor längs vattnet när jag blev överraskad av en lös hund som var lite närgången. Jag tog ett steg åt sidan och hamnade i gruset. Där var det tvärnit och jag satte mig platt på rumpan. Och inte faller man lika mjukt på asfalt som på snö så svanskotan har fått sig en törn. På’t igen bara, jag planerar att rulla vidare nästa vecka. Jag är tacksam att vi har en mjuk soffa och mjuka kuddar hemma.
Everything happens in the fall. The nature turns to beautiful golden colors, the air turns crisp, school starts, work starts, life goes on, the car needs a tune up, I need a haircut and a serious makeover… It is fall! Fall is like a Kinder Egg (that I still can’t believe is illegal).
My regular work at my school starts Sunday. It is lots of new kids this year and some new staff. Very exciting. I am brushing up my principal and teacher knowledge and reading through the curriculum and the course syllabus from the Education Department. Nothing really new but linguistically better formed. I get kind of stuck on different formulations. When can you call yourself Swedish? Is it a passport question or a something you feel in your heart? Is it enough to speak the language? It is actually pretty important when it comes to who the course plan and syllabus include. Important to discuss.
I got my ski poles today, finally. Can’t wait to try my new gear out, really try it out. I made a halfhearted promise to not try it when I was home alone. That’s how much my husband trusts me. I know he is just worried since my track record is pretty bad. When I do stuff that includes wheels and helmets broken bones seems to happen. I listened, so I stayed around our house. I did not fall, don’t think that would have been possible since I rolled around so slow even the snake in the back yard stayed and watched. Challenging, that’s all I’ve got to say. It’s going to take some hard work. Phew.
I dusted off my mountain bike today. First time since my head and elbow smashed into the ground and left me in tears on the trail. The bike was full of spider web, that’s how long it’s been, 10 months. I was expecting a bad fall, handlebar in the stomach area, bad bruising… something. I didn’t even get a fly in my eye. Everything went really smooth. Biking is fun! And then I stopped by the pool, a short swim and then back on the bike to get home. 50 yards and I was dead tired, I forced myself to swim for 30 minutes. I’ve felt really good since I got back, not too tired and sore. But apparently I am worn out. Train wreck, my arms don’t want to move and my breathing is off. I guess that happens after a 9k swim. Who knew? And I thought I was immortal.
Life goes on. Kids started school when I was vacationing in the Swedish archipelago, swimming around with jelly fish, enjoying electrolyte drinks, thunderstorms and gel that tasted like lime slugs. I tried to take care of everything I could before I left (read: writing checks and signing papers). They are busy, volleyball and badminton takes more time than school. I feel sorry for the three little nuggets that we have to schedule sleep on Sundays, apparently that will be the only day of the week when I will see them in daylight. Less than a week and we are already questioning the importance of school and why the teacher mom forced the poor high school kids to take AP classes since volleyball is the most important thing happening in high school? And when will we have time for drivers ed? Hopefully not until everybody turns 20. And how sore can a body feel after two weeks of the season. Sitting on the floor is out of the question even for a teenager. I really tried to curl the kids today bringing Jamba Juice and food before the bus left for Whidbey Island. Curl kids you ask?? It is an excellent Swedish expression. It means that you sweep the surface for your kids, really try to help them out, make life all golden and they don’t have to do a thing or even think (and that is not always a good thing). It’s not always positive if you want your kids to grow up. Well, at the moment I am the queen of curling. I’ll take a chance here, they will probably grow up anyway. I kind of sense that the school year 2013/14 will be the year of curling.
Below I add on an old blogpost from January ’13. A reminder how much we care about our girls. New schools, new sports and new friends. Change is good but scary!
I have three amazing kids, three beautiful girls. I don’t know how it happened but they are growing up. What feels like a couple of years ago we worried about preschool and swimming lessons, now we deal with drivers ed and honors classes at high school. The days go by slow but the years fly by so fast. 15 years feels like 5.
Our move to Washington was a big change in our girls’ life, both good and bad. As a parent you always question your decisions that involve your kids. You always wonder if you did the right thing, made the right decision. We have all learned and experienced so much and it has been a lot of laughter but also tears. I can’t even remember the first year we lived here, my mind blocked it somehow. Did we make the right decision? I do think so and I really hope so. This adventure will be a lifelong experience that we will all carry with us for the rest of our lifes. And I am sure growing up in different cultures has shaped their lifes. They will always view life through a lens that is different from their friends. Friends that lives on two different continents. We live in different cultures instead of reading about it in textbooks, we meet people that are very different from us every day. What awesomeness.
The only thing you really want for your kids is happiness. Not power or money, just for them to find their sweet spot, their thing that gives them goose bumps. You want them to grow up doing what they like to do, enjoy their lives. And you don’t want them to make the same mistakes as you did. But maybe they’ll have to. To get the experience and to feel some sort of pain. If I could I would pass my experience down to them but I can only give some advice. Just a few life lessons on the way, some more serious than others…
Keep swimming girls… before you blink high school will be over.
Be nice to your sisters, always.
It is ok to be homesick and long for all loved ones in our other country… they will still be there next summer.
Never get in a car with a drunk driver. Call home, any time.
Work out. As much as you can and as hard as you can. And it is ok to look sweaty, not very cute and feel like you are going to puke. It is actually good for you.
Always work hard in school, it will pay off. But remember, you can only do your best.
Never be afraid to ask for help.
It is ok to spend a lot of money on shoes, especially running shoes.
Don’t worry about love when you are 15, you have plenty of time. I am sure you will not even remember the name of the cutest guy in 9th grade when you turn 30. Life goes on.
Accept people around you. Nobody is perfect. Not even you.
Do your thing. Be different. But don’t wear too short skirts.
Travel as much as you can.
Laugh often and hard. And laugh at yourself.
Keep your eyes on the ball, in sports and in life.
Learn how to drive a stick.
Learn how to cook and bake bread. Enjoy food, it is good for you and it brings people together.
Change is good, scary but good.
Do things that scare you.
No tattoos or visible piercings. And no, I will not change my mind about this.
You are all three so much stronger than you think.
Life is back to normal. We’re home in Redmond. Doing just about nothing. Hanging out, waiting for try outs, school and race day. We’ve had a nice month in Sweden with friends and family. I’ve had 5 good and long swimrun training days with Anna (and 3 with Henrik) on different locations around Stockholm. It’s been good, it’s been fun and it’s been sweaty.
If you’re sick of my training posts, don’t read this. Click away.
I had a swimrun day planned today. Good thing I am jetlagged, I woke up at 4.15am ready to have breakfast and grab my backpack and leave. I did cheat today, I choose to swim in the pool, didn’t feel like swimming 3 miles by myself in the lake. And it’s not easy to find training company that wants to swimrunswimrunswimrun… for hours.
My legs didn’t like running today but somehow I finished my 20 miles divided up in 3 runs. Swimming felt good and I tried some new paddles that worked really well. I may have to rethink my race gear again. The goal for today was to eat better along the way and I think I did pretty well. I had a moment after the second mile in the pool when I had problems adding miles together. Interesting. And singing out loud can also be misinterpreted as entertaining when it’s actually a sign of low energy. I took an extra food break and filled up on goji berries and other good stuff.
I still have a strange lovehate relationship with swimming. Some days are awesome, some days I feel like spitting swimming in the face, turn my back and walk away. I am going to be honest and not sugar coat anything. I complain a lot the day before I have those long training days and I complain after when my hips feel sore and old but I really enjoy the endless days of swims and runs. It all comes down to this. When you feel that you are close to the end, maybe one swim or one run left, it feels disappointing that it’s over. At the same time I have conversations with myself along the way. Should I walk, should I quit? Who is stupid enough to run here on a hot day? Why do I have to swim again? This is when it happens, when you turn your thoughts around. This is what matters. And you kick it up a notch for the final effort. It feels so good to be done and it feels good that you didn’t give up.
I checked my watch after finishing and walking to the locker room. 3 miles swimming and 20 miles running and I feel great. Not really tired (but very hungry). If someone walked up to me and asked for running company I would easily get changed to something dry and tag along. Isn’t it amazing how much a regular body can take? A middle aged, medium fat body that carried 3 kids, broke a few bones and dislocated a handful of limbs.
You can always go further. And it’s worth every step.
Lång dag som börjar gå mot sitt slut. Klockan ringde 5 imorse och då bar det av mot Stockholm och Görväln för ett sista långt swimrun pass med Team Totally Lost plus en vältränad kompis. Lite regn, mycket värme, stilla vatten och fina stigar bjöds det på och vi kände oss riktigt nöjda med dagens insats när det började närma sig lunch. Nu hänger våtdräkten på tork och den har lyckat skaffa sig några hål på bakdelen efter allt klipphasande. Nu är det mest vågträning och finjustering kvar innan det drar ihop sig.
We are home away from home, in Uppsala, Sweden. The sky is blue, trees are green and the city is empty. We have been away for a week and it feels like a month. Our suitcases are unpacked and we have made a mess of the whole house. We have shoes, swimsuits, towels, clothes, water bottles… everywhere. We have basically filled up the house in a week. My parents are very patient and extremely calm even if they have 4 guests in the house.
We had a few lovely days in Skåne, the very south part of Sweden. A couple of days at the beach, swimming in salt water, eating sandy sandwiches and watermelon, fighting mosquitos after dark and the yearly ferry ride over to Denmark. I love this part of Sweden and I think we have spent every summer there the last 40 years. It is vacation. Packing lunch and filling the coffee thermos in the morning. Your pockets filled with sand and seashells at the end of the day. Falling asleep on sandy sheets, messy hair for days and sun warm cinnamon buns. I might even take another trip there before we fly back home. But I think I need to give the kids a few days before I start planning a new long car ride.
The first few days here went by fast. Jetlag seem to create forgetfulness, I can’t remember what we have done. Traveling takes endurance. It is a long flight, a long night without any sleep and the kids have really high expectations when they step off the plane. I’ve felt tired since we arrived but I am sure it will get better. The kids seems to do pretty good, at least they can sleep. They are floating around doing nothing…they read, bake, meet with friends, run, watch the clouds…
We had a Team Totally Lost reunion Wednesday. A longer swimrun in Görveln north of Stockholm. It was great to get together again after 7 months on different continents. We will have a few more opportunities to meet and swimrun before I take off. We will meet on a different location tomorrow, new trails and new waters. I will try to remember to bring the camera.
charlottebrekkan.com 