Pitch black and cold. Rain and fall weather. I spent a big part of the night finishing a book that I started reading few days ago. (Me before you by Jojo Moyes) A sad story that I felt I had to finish before I switched off the lights. I wiped my tears and went to bed around 1.30. A nice, warm story but so sad. Heartbreaking.

My alarm went off around 5.30 and I considered ignoring it until I felt a punch in my left side. I usually wake up before the alarm, not today. I slowly walked towards the closet and got dressed. As always I got my clothes ready last night. One of my few good habits. Trying to find the right clothes early in the morning will usually end up in disaster. I would probably end up wearing a purple cocktail dress and trail shoes. My closet is extremely unorganized. Stuff disappears in there and it’s always crowded. It is overflowing with dry fit, polyester, race t-shirts and dresses. I even changed batteries in my good headlight last night. I could barely see a thing when I ran the other morning and I thought it was something wrong with my eyes.

It’s been a long week and it felt like I just fell asleep. I woke up a couple of times during the night because I heard the rain but remember thinking it will probably pass until the morning. I checked the news online had a cup of coffee and breakfast and drove to the first meeting spot. I also checked the weather but realized later that I must have missed the most important part. It said 90% chance of rain, it could be worse. I didn’t see anything about wind. Alone in a dark parking lot, no cars and no traffic. I packed up some extra clothes, a banana, and water and waited for my ride.

A familiar car shows up and we take off. It’s always a little bit quiet the first minutes, we are both tired I guess. I remember the first times we met, it feels like years ago. My friends’ dog always got a bit anxious when I got into the car. She is all quiet now, she looks up and blinks at me. We follow the road on the side of the lake and it is still dark. When we get closer to the mountain it feels like it gets even darker and it starts raining again.

The parking lot is dark and it always feels a bit uncomfortable or uneasy this early in the morning. It’s another car there and that person turns off its lights when we park. It is so dark we can see small squirrel eyes out there. We stay in the car for couple of minutes, waiting for our other friend. The lonely mountain is dark and covered with high trees that has been there for hundreds of years. Big pine trees, ferns, leaves, rocks, creeks and almost quiet animals. The only sign of humans is the warning signs. Black and white signs about bears and cougars. Comforting.

We snapped our headlights on and tiptoed away on narrow paths. A little up and down, mostly up. The super dog knew the way and stayed up front leading the way as usual. The trails were covered with yellow leaves hiding the rocks and roots. It was difficult to see today, the wet leaves covered up everything. Every step felt like a surprise and my ankles got a good work out from twisting around in the mud. My shoes were filled with water and mud after a few minutes. We run by very fresh animal droppings, large and steaming.

About 45 minutes into our run we heard something we thought were gunshots. We all looked around trying to figure out the direction of the sound. It happens quite often when we are out running early mornings that we hear shots far away and it always feels uncomfortable. I am happy I wore bright pink, very visible.

The wind picks up in just a few minutes. The trees makes noises and we hear cracks around us. And then suddenly, about 25 yards ahead of us a few trees start to fall. Big trees, crazy wind, dark sky and we all froze for two seconds. J screams for the dog that is right by the trees and the super dog stays by our side. I suddenly felt my heart beating so fast I could feel it in my ears. We started to look around, trees are moving and cracking everywhere. We decide to go for it, sprint back. I don’t think we have ever run this fast our eyes pointed up. We don’t trust the trees. We flew up and down the trail for 30 minutes. And we got to the car and listened again. We heard strange noises around us, a loud rumble from the mountains. And we started to talk. We always have our death talks when we run in the dark. We talk about horrible accidents, deaths and crazy things. So this is how it feels when the world ends, the Armageddon. And someone starts talking about earthquake insurance.

We almost made it back to my car in Redmond when a big branch fell from the sky and hit the car roof. And the heart jumps again. We look out over the lake and see double rainbows and the water looks yellow like a hurricane is about to hit.

I get into my car and drive home. After taking a shower, eating and napping I realize what is going on around us. The bridge is closed, there are trees down everywhere and lots of houses don’t have power. It is not the end of the word but a huge storm.

 

 

Photos: Johanna Brekkan

How annoying isn’t to get advice you don’t want. Some people feel the urge to drown you with good sayings and advice you are forced to listen to. Everything from parenting, food and driving. I know, I do it too. I think I know so much better than some people, sometimes. And usually you give advice just because you mean well. When you watch a game you always know so much better than the coach and you always have some good advice for him. When you meet new parents… you really have to restrain yourself to be quiet. And all the advice you give your kids… it is really difficult to keep quiet and let them do the mistakes themselves.

Don’t listen to any advice I give, I am clearly not qualified to give advice, especially when it comes to training. But, as usual I’ve been thinking a lot. I somehow got a very stiff hip/back and that makes me go back in my training log and evaluate my behavior the last couple of weeks. When your body aches it is probably because you’ve done too much or not enough. (And I am not talking about the good ache, nice soreness.) I believe sitting causes just as much problems as overuse. So, what is my problem this time? Easy! I just got back into my old habits and plans and didn’t realize that I’ve been off for almost 6 weeks. I broke my tailbone and had a cold for a few weeks, my training decreased drastically. And when I got back to regular classes and runs I just jumped right into it. From 8 miles running one week to 35 the next. Nr 1 basic mistake. And my hip screams. I clearly didn’t listen to any advice I got.

Quality vs quantity, from high to low and back to high. Build up with quality before quantity. When think of it I guess intensity is what matters in all kinds of training. If you want to improve you need to train and you need to put a lot of power and high intensity into your training. But, if you go from 0 – 100 in a few weeks your body doesn’t adapt to the intensity, you don’t give it a chance to handle time and volume. Once you have a solid base than it is time for quality and once you have quality it is time for volume. It is like gambling, you take risks if you add on lots of time. You can win big but you can also loose it all. Make good choices every day.

But, enough random thoughts and ideas. Let me give you some real advice.

If you don’t enjoy what you are doing, don’t do it. Get another job, find a new hobby or start collecting stamps. Heard on the news this morning that most people don’t enjoy what they are doing. And of course I know that a lot of people are trapped and can’t change that because they need their paycheck every month. But, change one thing at the time, do more fun things. 

If you are scared or nervous turn the feeling around and act like you’re the boss. You are in control, act confident, like a pirate. Arrrrrrgg

Grow up, be a man/woman. Suck it up. We all have bad days. Move on. 

Slow down and dance a little. Enjoy life, don’t take everything so serious. Take a break.

Believe in yourself. If you have done the work, enjoy it. If you know you are well prepared, don’t sweat it. You know you can do it.

Therapy is expensive, bubble wrap is cheap.

“Telling a teenager the facts of life is like giving a fish a bath” Arnold H. Glasow. Choose your battles.

Go and find your smile. I think my smile is probably about 10 miles away, east of here. I plan to go and get it later today.

It’s been a while since I actually wrote something. My time shrinks from hours to minutes to moments, and those short moments pass by so fast. You know, I actually do stuff. Other things than running. But wouldn’t it be awesome to be a full time runner. Running trails out in the wilderness, with no concern about time and day. Some people seem to think that this is my life, running trails and sidewalks on the eastside of Seattle. I only share some tidbits of the rest of my life, a few glimpses. I keep the rest to myself. I have a family that is awesome. Three teenaged daughters, a husband and a part time job as a principal and teacher. Before we moved here I identified myself as a full time teacher, assistant principal, and college teacher and of course mom. I really have to think twice before I label myself now. I am a European living in the US, feeling more and more at home but missing my family every day. Kind of an identity crisis but in a good way. A world member. Kind of cool actually. It is good to see yourself in a different perspective, learn new things and meet new people. And of course I have my bad days and good days, as all of us. I ran with a friend (thank you Monica) this morning. A nice 45 minutes run along the Sammamish river trail, damp weather but beautiful colors. Actually gorgeous colors and perfect fall weather. We talked about life and how different you see things. Our common understanding was that if you live with an attitude that positive things happen, that everyone actually wants well and that people are basically good, it will make your life better. Life is good. And it’s your responsibility to make it a good one. Your responsibility. You are in charge of our own life. Easy! Make it a good one.

I ran today and yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that too. When I think about it, I’ve been running every day this week. I’ve been trying to find the happy running moment, you know that feeling… Yeah I love running, it’s king of the world kind of feeling. It’s gone. But I know it’s usually around the corner and one day I’ll find it again, probably sitting on a rock looking up trying to see the blue sky in the forest or taking a break on the docks looking out over Lake Sammamish. After the tailbone break and a huge cold I kind of lost my ability to think positive thoughts. My body feels heavy and old, my steps are far from light. But life still has its interesting parts. I had a really fun moment Monday. I ran to the gym, took a class, ran to the other gym and swam. That took me 3-4 hours and after getting my kind of sweaty clothes on again I ran back home. On the way home I must have had my mouth open singing, talking to myself or maybe just exhausted from the long morning so an insect flew into my mouth and I swallowed it. The poor fly, bee, wasp… was buzzing and moved around and I could actually feel a sting. I panicked, mostly in my head. I swallowed a freaking bee and it stung me. Am I going to puff up from the inside? I started to count minutes and miles in my head. 4 miles back home, EpiPen in the kitchen drawer, I really have to step on it. But I realized that if I am going to swell up I might just eat something first, feed the bee kind of. I realized that I would never make it home if I would puff up. So I looked through my pack and found a ziplock with raisins and cashews and a few pieces of Dextrosol (Swedish sugar, very yummy). I ate it all and started coughing, jumping around and talked a little to the bee. It must have worked really well, I didn’t puff up. I made it home but it felt like I could feel the little bee the rest of the day. That was an easy way to get the post run protein without even chewing.

I decided to try to be safer so I ran at the club, on a treadmill the day after. And I had to do some speed-intervals. The night before I even found an interval workout that was supposed to simulate a trail run so I thought I’d give it a try. Wow, how do you do it indoor peeps? I did it but I can’t say that I felt happier after. The only fun part with indoor running would be the people watching. It is interesting. And I met a few friends and that’s always nice. And the sauna, probably the best part of the indoor run.

Getting closer to the sky tomorrow, running a mountain. Need to change batteries is my headlight… it supposed to be dark and foggy tomorrow morning.

Until next time.

I went to Barnes and Nobles the other day. Big thing since we have five Kindles in the family and never buy real books anymore. Sad. I love bookstores. If I am walking in to get one book I usually walk out with seven. Love, love books. One of the best parts with summer is bookstores in Sweden. I usually go thru 15 books during a month in Sweden. And bring the same amount back home. Caroline and I went to B&N the other day to find a good biography for school and came home with five new books. She got two biography’s since she couldn’t make up her mind, Roald Dahl or Gene Wilder?? All those difficult decisions in life. I’m almost finished with Dean Karnazes book Ultramarathon man: Confessions of a all-night runner. I read his blog every now and then on runnersworld.com. Interesting guy. Lesson learned, why not run a 100-miler, sounds like a lot of…fun…blisters… But he sure has a way of getting your mind spinning. Last night when reading the chapter of his last 10 miles of his first 100 mile race I somehow felt jealous and had the feeling of…yeah, why not? This is the sh**. Running in crazy heat, feeling nothing but pain and really get to know yourself. That must be the meaning of life, right? But then I woke up this morning and saw the book and turned around and slept until 6.30 and felt really fortuned to stay in bed. Can you imagine running 100 miles?

I am happy to say that I ran today. 5 very slow miles in Bridal Trails. Stepping over a lot of trees that fell over in the storm the other day. And it was a lot of mud, nice wet mud. It looks like fall is here. My tail is getting better and I am pretty sure I can run long, very long, very soon. 

It doesn’t look better than flu season is here, very early this year. One kid after another have spent a few days in bed (or in front of the TV) with a sore throat and with a wheezing sound in their chest. They have complained a lot about body aches and back pain. And it looks like number 3 will be at home tomorrow after an evening of sneezing and coughing. I usually try to sneak out and get some fresh air and shake the bacteria’s out from my body. I haven’t been out much in the past two weeks. My tailbone gets angry when I run so I have been spending more time in the pool.

I am terrified that I will get the bug. I can’t stand being sick, I get mancolds. Let me tell you, sneezing and coughing when you have a broken tail is not very comfortable. I have done a lot the past few days to try scare those little bugs away. Extra vitamins, less coffee and more tea, Zink, Magnesium, lots of food, alcohol (can’t hurt and makes sitting less painful), sleep, Echinacea capsules (looks very strange, not sure they are legal), strength training and music. I’ve been listening to Royals at least a 100 times, very loud. Brilliant!

I even bought tea that are supposed to heal and comfort sore throats. It smells like rabbit pee and tastes like something that comes from under the lawn mower. Or maybe like a really weird scented candle. Very earthy, green, herby and organic. Disgusting. Nothing I will keep up with. My car smells like cinnamon and freshly cut grass. And old workout clothes and kneepads as usual. And when I woke up today my body was aching, my shoulders felt stiff and my hamstrings have been bad for weeks and they were still there screaming when I walked down the stairs. The worst spot is the part in between my ribs that hurts, really, really bad, whatever that part can be called, the fleshy part of the ribs. I went to the pool and suffered 45 minutes with very sore arms and shoulders. I thought if I will get sick I might as well get a good workout in before it happens. I started out the day feeling really sorry for myself, thought the flu bug had landed. But no, it’s called TRX. I took a class yesterday and I took it really easy since I have broken body parts. I rolled around like a snake on the mat trying to get my feet in the holes without sitting on my very sore butt. Not pretty! I really admire those ladies at the club that roll around gracefully and walk out an hour later without breaking a sweat and make up still on the right places. Well, not really admire but I really wonder how they do it.  Sometimes their lips are red and glittery too. If I happen to wear make up I usually look like a panda after 5 minutes. I wonder how bad my fleshy part of my ribs would have felt if I didn’t take it easy. I’ll just have to try again tomorrow. Meanwhile I better drink some more rabbit pee just in case and listen to another song.

And let’s try this one to scare the bug away.