Category: In English

Home away from home and finally back home

On By lillahjarnanIn Blandat/mixed, In English, Okategoriserade, Resor/travel, Träning/training, Utflykter/outings2 Comments

What can you expect when you have been a bit lazy? Sore muscles and heavy breathing. I have been running in my own slow pace for 5 weeks and more or less skipped strength training. A couple of miles when I have had time but only one decent 25km long run in over a month. Add on lack of sleep, I am still on Swedish time. It gets worse every time I fly back home, must be an age thing. 3 classes at Willows plus a long trail run and I am officially broken. I topped it off with 50 min on the rowing machine. (Only because my chiropractor told me my shoulders looked more boney than usual.) So tired and so sore. Amazingly wonderful. I really do enjoy the pain. But I think I had my personal worst performance Friday morning in class. I really tried hard, I did, but my legs kept saying geeezzz woman, go home. I usually get pushed by working out beside other people but I would easily have paid Jeremiah to let me go early from class. I guess it can only get better…

After 24 hours on American grounds I woke up 3.30 am. Almost freezing in the crazy heat. Lucky me, I had a text message from the night before asking if I wanted to meet at 6am. I sent a text back at 4am and waited. Breakfast in the dark waiting for the sun to wake up and one more cup of coffee. Shoes on and the Camelback filled with cold water. So lovely to meet after a long trip. Such a beautiful morning greeting the sun on foot. Yellow light in between the trees. Bridal Trails, talking too much, running too slow, covering 5 weeks of missed runs. So good to meet. What a treat.

I got back from Sweden Tuesday night, tired and a bit stressed from our house adventures. I had a heck of a summer. Lots of work with the house, too much actually. A really close friend of my parents had a tragic accident and passed away after four weeks of struggling, a couple of days before we left. It’s been a different summer. I had big hopes before we took off of how much I was going to get done, how I was going to fix up the house, cram in a workout every day, and meet friends and family every day of our vacation before he** breaks loose in September again.  I had big plans to be super organized and efficient. Let me tell you, the house looks great, I would love to move in there again. But it was crazy. So much work but such a great feeling to finish. Hopefully a nice family will find the keys to our perfect townhouse.

Just got home from another great run with old and new friends. Not sure if I would recommend Squak Mt for an easy Sunday run but my legs got a great work out going up that beautiful hill. Really dark and foggy before the sun woke up and cleared the air. Washington sure is a great place to live!

Time for new adventures! Ironman, 50k, swimming across the Atlantic ocean… time for a new goal! Keep breathing! Send me some ideas!

The smell of fear and taste of pool water

On By lillahjarnanIn In English, Träning/trainingLeave a comment

I am an average middle aged mom, not very exciting. But I have always felt something restless or a fire (don’t know what to call it) and I fuel it with firewood all the time. It would probably be really good to try to not to feed the flame but that makes me really bored and not very happy.

I have never really felt old or not even my age. Well, that is not completely true. When I watch my kids walking down the street, outside school or with their friends it is always shocking to see them all grown up and that must mean that I am old. They are three young beautiful almost adults with lovely personalities. But turning 40 gives you a chance to evaluate life, take a step back and watch yourself from a distance. I think I started to ease into my new age a while ago, trying new things and getting rid of old habits. And I still have a long way to go. This year I decided to go with the flow instead of fighting it. I have celebrated plenty of 13.1 and  26.2 milestones but small victories in everyday life feels so much better.

About a month ago I pointed myself to the direction of something I had been avoiding my whole adult life. I finally said to myself that I had to, needed to, become a better swimmer. Maybe I didn’t have enough time, willpower…maybe I hid behind being busy all day, hid behind 15 pounds…Can you smell the excuses? It smells like fear. You are afraid to try because you might….? Every single barrier we set up goes so much deeper than we think. So this past month I went from I don’t know what the heck I am doing to I am learning and it feels great. I am switching my breaststrokes to freestyle, almost keeping my head down and trying to avoid swallowing gallons of pool water and what really surprises me… I like it, almost love it. I wish I could say that I look pretty cool but it is nothing cool about me and water. Wearing a swim cap, swim suit  and goggles, just not very attractive.

My extremely nice swim coach Michael keeps smiling and has the patience of a turtle, moving slowly, taking one step at a time, and very often a few steps back. Going to the gym or pool is supposed to give you a power boost. You get a good feeling that usually lasts for hours, the famous endorphin kick. I have never felt that getting up from the pool but I feel it very often when I run or take a class at the gym. That’s what keeps me going. I enjoy the sweating part, loosing my breath, feeling pain and of course meeting friends. Today, I got it! Flying high! Singing in the shower kind of feeling. I have had a smile on my face all day, like something great happened. I actually swam yard after yard without loosing my breath, without swallowing a pool of water and it felt good! Not sure it looked good.

Next step – climb a very high mountain!

13 miles, new playlist and sunshine

On By lillahjarnanIn In English, Träning/trainingLeave a comment

After a really slow morning drinking too much coffee, a few phone calls and lots of newspaper reading I decided to go for a short run. I have a sinus infection that really likes me and wants to stick around forever. My head feels like it’s wrapped up in bubble wrap and I swore that my eyes almost popped out a couple of days ago. I got some wonder meds from my excellent doctor a couple of days ago and I think I can see the light on the other side, the end of the tunnel. This stuff is so good I think I will grow chest hair and a beard, but it is totally worth it!

Put my shoes on and took off. My plan was to run to Bridal Trails and back, easy 4 miles just to get some air. Well I am back, two hours and around 13 miles later. What a beautiful day! Fluffy clouds and squirrels. 

Great music in my ears for a change, I didn’t want to hear my own heavy breathing.

Mile 0.75 – Almost hit by a gospel guy in a white minivan on 132nd. He didn’t see me, I didn’t see him. Not even a bruise, we exchanged smiles, thumbs up and went in different directions. I realized that I left my RoadID at home, my running buddy. After a little incident last year, waking up in a ditch in Bridal Trails, I promised myself to always wear a RoadID. Forgot it today and happy that the car missed me. Seize the day and Highway man – Hoffmaestro

Mile 1.25, passing the scary Pitbull house (mud pit), still on 132nd. I am so sure that those two dogs will chew thru the fence one day. Oh Boy – Miss Li

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Mile 1.75. Waiting at the traffic light and started to chat with a woman in a wheelchair. Gave her a push to Great Clips for a haircut. One leg and one arm, felt like she would roll around in circles and needed some help. And I am complaining about a tiny sinus problem. Suck it up! This is the day for a long run! Decided to run to the lake and back. Take on me – A-HA, Paradise City – Guns N’Roses, The boys of summer – Don Henley (The boys of summer must be the best runningsong ever)

Mile 2.25. Downhill, passing lots and lots of flowers and bushes (Ölandstok and Clivia in Swedish) and a guy in a dark blue Chrysler convertible waves. Have no clue who he was. But Hi back! I’m a believer – Smash Mouth

Passing Microsoft campus and getting closer to Idylwood Park. Met the very old ultra running spandex guy at Idylwood, haven’t seen him for long time. He looked the same in his spandex. Left my sunglasses on when we said hi, didn’t want to lose my cool ;)  Ma direction – Sexion D’assaut, We built this city – Starship, American Land – Bruce Springsteen

Mile 6. Sitting down on a rock and having a “it is not you, it is me” conversation with my shoes. I have a favorite pair of shoes that needs to be retired after two marathons. I bought a new pair, same shoes but different color and we are not friends. Thinking about running barefoot the rest of the way but decided to give them another chance. Whistle – Flo Rida, Line of fire – E-Type and The Poodles, Can’t stop this thing we started – Bryan Adams

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Mile 7. West Lake Sammamish Parkway, bad idea and lots of traffic, bikes everywhere. Marymoor and more bikes. Saw a couple walking their cat, CAT. Really. Wake up people, cats are not made for walking on a leash. Met another couple along the trail with two very tiny, shivering dogs in a stroller. The dogs had matching outfits. No! That is so wrong! Cryin’ – Aerosmith, Detroit Rock City – Kiss, Radio Ga Ga – Queen

Mile 8-9 something. I am thirsty but it can’t be more than 4-5 miles left. Chin up, Redmond is a nice little town. The lady is a tramp – Bennett/Gaga, Some nights – Fun., Call your girlfriend – Robyn, This is my life – Edward Maya, En man i byrån – Lill Lindfors.

11 miles. Need to get up the hill and back home, Redmond Way, 148th, Grass Lawn. Passing an old neighbor and turn back. She hugs me. Not cool!! Not cool!!! I have a purple face and my tank top is transparent from sweat. I don’t hug after running more than 10 miles. I take off. Evighet – Carola, Balada – Gusttavo Lima, Run to the hills – Iron Maiden, Hun tog min guitar – Muri o Mario

12 miles. Bridal Trails and almost home. Feels really good, maybe I should take a little detour. Get a call from home wondering when I am coming home. Told them I would be back after 30 minutes but been away for almost 1h 45 min. Vindaloo – Fat Les, Campione 2000 – E-Type, 25- Oskar Linnros 

Really hungry! Had breakfast at 8am, it’s 2pm. When I stop at the traffic light at 85th my tummy makes a really angry noise. Perfect gentleman – Wyclef Jean, Bohemian Rahpsody – Queen, I’m so happy I can’t stop crying – Sting, Het is een nacht – Guus Meeuwis

Water, food and coffee. Lovely day! I think I like this running thing.

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Good enough… a post in English

On By lillahjarnanIn Blandat/mixed, In English, Tävlingar/races, Träning/trainingLeave a comment

A long and quite intense weekend comes to an end and I’ve made a maybe not so wise decision to write a post in English. It happens about once every year and only because I feel kind of obligated. I don’t write in English, it will always be my second language. Give me a white paper and I can fill it with words, a story, in two minutes… in Swedish. Somehow I always have too many words in my head and writing makes me relaxed, like running. Some of you translate my posts to different languages and the translations are usually very poor and I get strange questions about what I write and what I do and why. But I am happy that you take time to read my words. So here it goes… one random post for all of you…

Believe it or not, it is summer.

Let me be one of the first to welcome you to the new season, to wish you the happiest summer ever. Make sure you smile a lot, sleep in, stay up late and listen to… eh the frogs… and run, as far as you can and as often as you can. And smile. It is transition time. Time for something new. Some of us have graduations, empty nests, full nests, a house full of guests. Some of us are packing and taking off for vacation, work or stay-cation. I am taking off soon to go home away from home, to clear things, to work a little and hopefully to have some fun.

Our vacations are filled with people. What I like the most is waking up and having breakfast every morning and people just show up for a cup of coffee, to walk a dog, to talk… and to sit in the greenhouse at night with lit candles and waiting for the day to pass and listen to nothing. What I don’t like is the guilt of not spending enough time with friends and family. And I know I will miss the best part of the year, the happy summer in the Pacific Northwest. But that’s life.

I am tired. Tired of rain, tired of school, tired of endless days. Tired of making plans. I have made plans or goals my whole life. 40 long years. I have checked things off my long list of things to do. I have never had a list on a piece of paper but somehow I’ve checked my invisible boxes every year. High School, masters degree, a new country, marriage, job, kids, house, happy kids, better job, another house, another masters degree, happy kids, work even more, a new adventure, a new country and really working on getting the kids back on track in a new country… I have actually enjoyed more or less every moment but I think it is time to settle. You can always do better but I think it is good enough! Good enough! (Can you believe, I have a kid starting high school this fall and two in junior high. Crazy!)

Except for one thing. I have to run another marathon. I honestly don’t care about the time. It would be awesome to fly like a bird for 26 and some miles, but that is not me. And it is OK. But, I would love to feel like I have done all I can, be completely wiped, finished, almost dead and feel happy about my effort. I felt far from happy when I ran Vancouver Marathon some weeks ago. My time was OK but I felt angry and unhappy when I finished. And that‘s why I have to do it for the third time, to feel good enough. Does it make sense? That’s my last goal for now. (Until I feel like I need a new goal… I will give it about two months.)

I must say that running saved my new life. It’s been different, lots of new things to cope with and to adjust to. It’s been almost five years since we moved. Switching from working full time, in control, being a mom and a wife to “just” a mom and a very part time worker may sound easy and nice. It is, but it also gives me a fire-breathing-dragon feeling. It takes time. How do people who don’t run handle their fire flame? I don’t think running has to do with burning calories or shaping your body. The real reason why you run is that it makes you feel good, it controls your emotions and gives you perspective. It really makes me a better person. I wish I could cork the feeling and save it for later.

Happy Monday!